Posts Tagged ‘hilarious’

An Education

June 17, 2010

For the past two years I have been teaching Grade 12 English at a questionable private school in downtown Toronto. The majority of the kids come from China, with vague hopes of getting into a Canadian University. The amount of hard work and dedication my students have shown throughout the years was incredible. I was truly blessed to be surrounded by these future leaders.

Many of them were addicted to various computer games which they played late into the night. Reading anything longer than two pages was a painful struggle which most could not complete before falling asleep.

These kids had some interesting English names. Here are a few of my favourite: Ocean, Rock, Sky, Fish, Magic, Energy, Lancer, Aquamarine, Trance, Plantain, Crane, Seven, and Rick.

Their grammar was a fantastic jumble of confusion. Their habits of rampant plagiarism and cheating was unparallel. Catching a student cheating and then wildly berating him/her in front of the entire class was perhaps my only pleasure. But to be fair, they weren’t all bad. A whopping ten percent of the 200+ slack-jawed monsters that slept and farted in my classes were impressive. Ambitious, creative, and intelligent kids, with a genuine willingness to LEARN. Thanks to the few among many.

And now I have happily quit this job, never to return, and quickly to forget. I will be going back to skoool in the fall to get me some more educations so I can get a real job and finally become one of them real live adults I see walking around everywhere. Wish me luck.

David Berman – The Portable February

August 11, 2009

the portable february

Silver Jews frontman David Berman has published a book of strange, crudely drawn comics entitled The Portable February. Looking as if they were scrawled on napkins and on the back of ticket stubs and on bathroom walls, these 90 or so sketches at first had me slightly befuddled, but soon had me dribbling urine down my leg in near hysterics. Is it weird? Yes. Do I understand it all? God no. But I believe their is brilliance in this slim hardcover. Like his lyrics in The Silver Jews and his book of poetry “Actual Air”, Berman seems to have a limitless supply of clever observations and off-kilter aphorisms, and “The Portable February” is no different. I have always enjoyed Berman’s music and find this collection of visual non-sequitirs an excellent addition to his body of artistic work. I’ve already decided I am going to buy a copy for all of my friends for Christmas this year. Available through Drag City Records, it’s a steal at under 10 bucks. Buy it for posterity and for your friends…

Enjoyable, irreverent, and so po-mo it ain’t po-mo no-mo, or better yet, never was in the first place.

lmao once i finally understand how weird this shit is...